


Playlist - Feeling the Aster: Track 3

by Onlymostydead



Series: Fictober 2019 [12]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Crushes, Food, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, M/M, Outing, Trans Male Character, Trans Wally West
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 21:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21125297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymostydead/pseuds/Onlymostydead
Summary: With Valentine's Day finally here, and Wally's information from M'gann that Robin has a crush on him, nothing can get him down.Well...





	Playlist - Feeling the Aster: Track 3

**Author's Note:**

> This was Fictober day 16, where I fell off track! This was the day I took the SAT. Fun times.

Wally's heart was pounding like it would break out of his chest. He swore Robin could hear it as he reached out and gently tipped up his chin, exposing his face to the light. In the dim supply closet there was no way he could see his face well, sure, but with the door cracked open like this, the way Robin was tilting his head...

He could see well enough.

No, he could see everything.

Everything.

He swallowed. There was blood streaming down from his nose for certain, still not healed up by his healing factor. None of it had, yet - except maybe little tiny bruises and scrapes. As it was, his eye was still swelling and blackening, the acceleration of the healing factor just making the injuries look worse under Robin's careful eyes.

Wally felt so small, as he looked at him. He just wanted to disappear.

Carefully, with a gloved hand, he brushed some of the blood from his nose away from his mouth. Nothing. He didn't say a word, just looked oh so attentively at the smear of blood. At the way it moved under his finger, trailing across Wally's pale skin.

He could see everything.

They paused for a moment, nothing happening. His heart was still beating frantically out of his chest, breath coming fast, his fingers beginning to vibrate, when-

Robin looked him dead in the eyes.

And everything froze.

It was like the world stopped. His heart quit beating for a moment. Nothing else existed, just him and Robin in this stupid supply closet with the mops and brooms, right here, right now. The cleaning supply smell felt like it was choking him, wrapping around his throat like ghostly fingers.

Low and quiet, barely above a whisper, Robin spoke, breaking the silence. His voice sounded like- he sounded like he could have been on the verge of tears, or on the edge of yelling, or about to just lose control entirely and either pass out or scream.

"Who did this to you?"

***

\- Earlier that Day

It was Valentine's Day, and Wally had never been so excited. Well, he had never really been excited about Valentine's Day before at all, so it was a little bit odd, but...

But it was good. Happy. He liked being excited about this. He wanted to be. Everything was sunshine and roses and the new playlist he had put together on his phone entitled "Feeling the Aster" had nothing on it but upbeat music that put him in a sunshiny mood. He was beyond excited.

Even though it was nerve-wracking, to say the least.

But in the past year a lot had changed. He never would have dreamed of even coming out to Robin before, but now? Robin was out and proud as being bi, too. So why shouldn't he be, too? That was just common sense. Obvious. It wasn't the scary part at all.

And he wouldn't have dreamed of being out as trans, either, but since Artemis came out after the winter holidays, he came out too. It wasn't fair to leave her being the only trans one on the team, after all. So now they all knew, and... They were super chill about it. Nobody cared, beyond making sure that they weren't being offensive, which they pretty much never were. After a few clarifying questions to make sure everyone understood? It was all good.

It was like living in a dream. Everything had set itself up perfectly. Everything except...

Well, one piece of information, but M'gann had just let him know that last week. And that slid everything right into place to where he was now.

To the scary part, sure, but...

***

\- The Week Previous

"Hey, Wally? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure thing, sweet stuff." He dangled his feet over the back of the couch, tossing a piece of popcorn and missing his mouth. "What is it?"

"...privately?"

In a moment, Wally had zoomed up, off the couch, and was by her side in the kitchen. "Yeah, I mean, what's going on?"

M'gann glanced around. "Alright. You know, you could have just stayed on the couch, right? I'll mind link you."

"Yeah, yeah..." He shrugged. "Doesn't hurt to feel like you're on a covert stealth mission. 'Sides, getting closer to you is always-"

"Wally!"

"Right!" Wally raised his hands in surrender. "Truth is, I'm getting a snack."

"You already had..." She said over the mind link, looking over at the popcorn. "Never mind. It's about Valentine's Day coming up."

"And?" 

"And I happen to know about your not-so-secret crush on a certain acrobat on the team." M'gann explained. "So I-"

"Jeez, Megs, doesn't everyone know? 'Cept Rob, that is." Wally could feel himself blushing, but attempted to hide it as he dug through the refrigerator. "I'm not telling him. He'd never-"

"That's just it." She interrupted, a smirk pulling at her lips. "I just so happen to know that he reciprocates."

"That he whats!?" He was standing up straight in a second, fridge door slammed shut.

"Reciprocates? Returns the-"

"I know what reciprocates means!" Wally couldn't control the amount of excitement coursing through his veins, nearly vibrating in place. "Does he really? Actually?" 

M'gann nodded.

"Wait." He stopped dead still. "You're not just putting me up to this, right? This isn't a prank?"

"Wally, I'd never do that." She assured him, meeting his eyes. "I know what this means to you."

"So now I... Just have to figure out how to tell him."

M'gann laughed. "From how you sound, you'd think that was the hard part."

"You know it is!" Wally groaned, rubbing his face. "Maybe I'll... I'll think of something. Thank you, M'gann!"

She smiled. "You're welcome, Wally. And go get him!"

***

\- Back to a Week Later

So, knowing that Dick had feelings for him too, Wally had to think of a way to tell him. So he wrote him a letter... Then threw it away. Then wrote another letter, and threw that one away, too. And a third, but they were all just crap, and why couldn't he do this right?

He'd just tell him. He'd tell him. Tell him that he was bi, and... That he had a massive fucking crush on him, and had for years. Yeah. That'd be fine. Totally. Absolutely alright.

But for now, the final bell had just rang, releasing Wally to head home and drop off his books at home before going to Mount Justice. He had survived Valentine's Day in public school, and now...

Now was for squeaking by another day in his house.

Shouldn't be so bad. He'd been on his best behavior, and even though that never seemed to do anything, he did his best. And besides, right now? He was on top of the world.

Robin likes him!

So, shouldering his backpack and keeping his head down so no one would see him grinning like an idiot, Wally headed back home. He turned his playlist back on, a sweet tune about love blasting in his earbuds, and he took off.

***

That was his first mistake.

He should have just headed straight to Mount Justice in his excitement, why didn't he go straight there?

No, the first mistake was the letters, the damn letters. Why did he write letters?

Because the moment Wally was back in his house, there were his parents, holding up a crumpled piece of paper. He knew what it said. What it admitted to.

Being in love with a boy.

Being trans.

Death sentences.

Heartbeat pounding in his chest.

Panic filled his bones with lead, the speed force abandoning him. Yes, the letters were the first mistake. The second was coming home before going to Mount Justice. The third was not being able to fucking run, being too weak, being too- too-

Because he just stood there and took it. There was nothing else he could do.

The upbeat love song was still stuck in his head, catchy chorus about everything being good, everything being just how he wanted it to be repeating over and over as his breath caught in his throat, as the sobs wracked his body.

They didn't kick him out. At least, outright, they didn't. But Wally knew that he wasn't welcome here if he was going to be himself; he had been lying to live in this house for this long, after all. And now that they knew...

His mom was probably going through his things right now. He was careful, though. Both of his binders were well hidden... He hoped.

But they could force him to grow out his hair, to dress femininely again, to-

To go back to all of that. To who he was before Kid Flash. 

He had to get out of here, to get to Mount Justice. It didn't matter that he was beat up and terrible looking; he could blame that on the bullies at school. They were cruel to him enough already. It was just... Just life.

He had to get away from this house. 

For good.

But there was no way he could do that now, not with his parents home, not...

Not right now.

Which meant he would have to come back.

Slowly, Wally pulled himself up to his feet. He'd been coming home to this house for years. One more time wouldn't kill him. One more time wouldn't-

He choked, leaning on the wall for support. From the feel of things, the speed force still wasn't coming to his aid. Shit. That was going to make things harder. 

But he just... Just needed to leave. That was all. He didn't need to take anything with him. 

So, Wally climbed back up the stairs, pulled on his jean jacket, tugged on his sneakers, and slipped out the door. The February air was chilly, freezing him to the bone the moment he was outside, but...

That didn't matter.

Pulling his hood on to cover up his battered face, Wally reached into his pocket for his earbuds, slipping them back in.

He couldn't listen to that song anymore. The upbeat tune was ruined forever, the happy chorus forever associated with pain.

But it was still Valentine's Day... Right? Wally swallowed, trying to fix his posture as he walked to the Zeta Tube, to stand up straighter. In no time the speed force would fix his wounds and...

And he'd be able to tell Robin. This was just a... Minor setback. He was fine. He'd always been fine after things like this. Always. They never guessed anything was wrong.

It had never been this bad.

But that was... Just how things were sometimes, Wally tried to reassure himself, shoving his hands in his pockets. Everything was going to be all good.

"Pfft, I'll be fine." He whispered, breath turning to vapor in the cold. "Just smile, and no one suspects a thing."

No one suspects a thing. A bitter feeling settled into his heart as he approached the run down phone booth that operated as a Zeta Tube entrance, stepping inside and activating the Mount Justice entrance.

"Recognized, Kid Flash, B-0-3"

***

It was a little bit after school had ended, but with extracurriculars and all, most of the team still wasn't at HQ, which was welcome to Wally. He still needed time for his body to heal, and...

Probably food? Maybe that would speed it up?

He wasn't hungry, but trying desperately not to think about anything that just happened led him to the refrigerator, thoughts racing, trying to block them out any way he knew how.

Of course it didn't work. Nothing worked. Sitting on the couch, watching TV didn't work. Eating didn't work. He just felt numb, and tired, and scared, and that song was still stuck in his head making everything worse and everything was just-

"Happy Valentine's Day!" M'gann announced, startling him.

Shit. His face was still swollen and awful and-

He couldn't let her see him.

In a moment, Wally was up off the couch. Speed force flowing through his veins - how convenient of a time, now it decides to come back? - he ran out of the living room, down the hall...

And ducked into a supply closet.

The closet was tiny, really just enough room on the floor for him to sit down behind some buckets and mops, a broom pressing into his back. The smells of ammonia and bleach and something lemon scented all mixed together into something nauseating, all making him feel like he was going to puke more than he did before.

He couldn't stay here forever, but...

Wally reached up, gently touching his eye. It was definitely swollen, probably getting more so by the second as the speed force worked on healing it. 

He could stay here until he was healed.

Until he was ready to pretend everything was normal. Everything was okay.

"Wally? Wally!" M'gann was calling out, using her voice and not the mind link, strangely enough. 

If she really wanted to find him, she could in seconds. She was respecting his privacy? That was... Actually really nice of her. He wondered if that meant Connor would leave him alone too...

And that's when the door opened.

That was when Robin stood there, looking down at him, and his heart started beating out of his chest.

That's when he knelt down, looked over his beaten face, and said in that voice:

"Who did this to you?"

Wally choked. "School. It was just school, you know? Assholes."

Robin frowned, meeting his eyes. "Really?"

"Why do you- what do you mean?" He swallowed. "Why would I lie about something about tha-"

"Wally."

And immediately, it was like he melted. In that little supply closet, surrounded by cleaning supplies that made him feel sick, face bleeding and swollen, his crush of literal years knelt there next to him, Wally began to cry, just tears streaking down his face. Not sobs, not shaking and trembling. It was like all of a sudden everything broke down and he couldn't hold it back anymore. His chest felt cold, head sluggish.

"Are you alright?" Robin asked, moving a bucket out of the way to get closer. "How badly are you-"

"Today was supposed to be perfect, you know?" Wally wiped at his face, blood and tears coming off on his hand. "I was going to- going to finally tell you-"

"Tell me what?"

"I'm bi." He admitted, sitting up a little straighter. "Like you."

Robin blinked, confused. "That's-"

"And I like you!" Wally blurted, sure that he looked terrible, and this was awful, and that song, ruined, stuck in his head still. "I like you. And today was supposed to be perfect, and I was going to tell you, and... Fuck, it's Valentine's Day, huh?"

His hands were shaking badly now, quivering and shuddering.

"Wally... Are you in shock?"

"Probably." He shrugged, swallowing, trying to pull himself together. "I don't want you to have to deal with my sorry ass-"

"Don't do that, Wally." Robin insisted, shaking his head. "You're my best friend, and- wait, you like me?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry, that was... Your present condition takes precedence over my response to that." He nodded to himself, offering a hand to help Wally up. "You're in pretty rough shape."

"I-" Wally wanted to make a joke - you should see the other guy, something like that, like he normally did - but he couldn't. "Yeah. I'll be okay, though. Thanks, Rob."

"Dick, actually."

"What?" He blinked. "Is that your-?"

"Secret identity?" Robin- no, Dick, held a finger in front of his lips. "Just keep quiet about it, okay?"

Wally grinned, wiping the blood from his lips. "Of course."

"Now..."

"I'm okay, really."

Dick frowned, shaking his head. "That's not true. I'm serious; who did that to you?"

"And I told you-" Wally stopped. "...a lie. How could you tell that I was lying?"

"A lot of things... And just a hunch."

"I'll..." There was no way he could say it. "Look, I'll tell Barry, okay? It'll get taken care of, but I'm..."

Dick nodded. "Just a little distraught right now?"

"Yeah." Wally breathed. "Just a little?"

He would tell him eventually. He would, he was sure of it, but right now, with his parents words about this "Robin" he was in love with still ringing in his head? He couldn't. Once it all settled down. Once it all settled.

"Well then, let's do something to get you traught. He does a movie sound?"

He nodded. "That sounds pretty fucking great about now."

***

Neither of them were much of fans of rom coms, but it was Valentine's Day, damn it, so laughing at some obliviously in love people in movies sounded just about as good a distraction as anything. And all cuddled up like this on the couch, with snacks and hot cocoa...

Dick hadn't said how he felt about him, but that was okay. Because right now, they were loving each other. Loving each other like best friends, sure, but practically sitting on each other on Mount Justice's well big enough couch, snuggled under a blanket - even if it was because Robin, or Dick, was sure he was in shock - when it was definitely warm enough, just snacking and laughing together...

It was good. And if Wally didn't notice when the song finally stopped being stuck in his head, that was all the better. If he didn't notice when the final bruise faded from his face hours later, then he didn't notice. They just put on another movie, snickering at the dumb premise long enough to miss important details.

"Thank you, Robi- Dick." Wally corrected himself, leaning his head on his best friend's shoulder. "This was... This was good."

"You're welcome, Wally." Dick turned, pressing a kiss to his head. "Happy Valentine's Day."

He shot up, sitting straight. "Wait, what?"

"Did I... Forget to tell you?"

"I mean..." Wally trailed off, mind moving faster than his lips. "M'gann told me that you liked me, but I wasn't sure if I actually believed it, and-"

Dick turned bright red. "She did what?"

"Told... Me?"

"Well..." He sighed, shaking his head. "I guess that's how we got where we are."

"Yeah, I guess." Wally smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "So it's true?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Happy Valentine's Day, bro."

"Happy Valentine's Day, bro." Dick smiled, blushing wildly.

***

\- Two Days Later

Barry and Iris were heartbroken that Wally hadn't told them earlier, but... At the very least, he wasn't going home to that house again. His heart was pounding at the very thought, at having told them, but... 

Life kept moving on. He kept being himself. Being Kid Flash. Hanging out with his Aunt and Uncle, moving into their house and adjusting to things there. And he kept watching dumb movies with his boyfriend, missing half of the plot every time. Because life didn't stop there.

It only just started.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at Supertinywords or Supertinybats!
> 
> Requests are open!
> 
> Comments are love <3


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